FOOD AS AN "EMPTY HOLE" FILLING
Eating is simply enjoyable sometimes.We don't satisfy our hunger, we just have an uncontrollable craving for something good. But "something good" is usually very unhealthy and we blame ourselves. Yet we do it again at the first opportunity. Why is that?
There are many reasons for this and the topic can be approached from many different angles. It is a very complex thing. Today, however, we will discuss the things that cause the deficits that we tend to eat.
What is food?
Food contains (is) calories. Calories are an expression of energy. Therefore, food is energy. And I think we all know the law of conservation of energy. It cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed. Let's not go into unnecessary detail and play physicists. But the important thing is that we simply can't make "new" energy in our bodies ourselves, even if we put our heads on the line.
So we always get the energy for our actions from food. We store unused energy for later in the form of fat Fat is our battery. A store of energy for future use.
What do we need energy for?
Stupid question. We need energy to survive. Of course we do. But let's try to elaborate a little. What do we use it for? A significant portion of energy is required by our basal metabolic rate. What is it? It's the amount of energy our body burns at rest. So, for example, if you were in a coma. It covers the basic functions of life. Then of course it covers all physical activity, brain activity and other bodily functions..
When stress comes into play
But what happens when it comes to stress? Stress activates a "fight or flight" state in us It prepares our body to be able to resist the cause of stress. So, for example, to fight our potential killer, or to take our feet on our shoulders in front of it. Our heart rate increases, we breathe faster, our muscles tense and prepare for action. If we fist a bill that needs to be paid, we probably won't help ourselves.
If we cannot get rid of the cause of the stress, or if more and more stresses arise, then it turns into chronic stresswhich is itself very dangerous. But of course, these increased bodily functions need to be "fed" from something. This means that they are the big energy guzzlers.
But our body doesn't like to be caught by something unexpected. An example is the process of recovery after physical exercise. Exertion traumatises and breaks down the muscles. The body wants to be prepared for the next time, so it not only repairs everything to its original state, but adds something extra. And so our muscles grow :).
So we can assume that when we have negative emotions (which stress us out), we tend to eat more just so that the body is energetically ready to make us "superhuman" again and prepare us to box our folders.
Emotional fat
So to be ready to be "superman" at any time, emotional fat is created. The body is designed to protect our survival at all costs. Emotional fat is therefore, from a psychosomatic point of view, a kind of insulator. It is the body's protection from difficult emotional situations. Which also makes sense from the point of view I described in the paragraphs above.
In this case, fat acts as an emotional cushion. We stock a lot of extra calories to make up for the deficit. A deficit of food and emotion.
How does it come about?
The need to eat is triggered by the aforementioned deficiency. A deficit of anything, of course, also stresses us. But a deficit of what? The causes are very different and it's a really big topic. But let's try to describe at least the most common causes.
Direct stress
The first cause that comes to mind is simply sudden direct stress. We have put ourselves in a situation that is not confessional to us and we are aware of it. In this situation, the only thing we should have in our minds is: "Problem? Solution!". What do I mean?
The solution should be the first thing you associate with the problem. Not feeling sorry for yourself. Not the "Why is this happening to me?" questions. Not wallowing in the situation. The solution. I realize that the solution isn't always apparent at first glance. But in short, you should respond to a problem by moving towards a solution. At least take the first step. Unlearn this wallowing. (By which I in no way mean to say to suppress your emotions! But simply move on!) Focus on the good.
The more energy you devote to the problem, the bigger it will be. Because it changes your mindset. You're setting yourself up for a problem. And therefore, you're getting the problem. Focus on making yourself feel good.
The problem already exists anyway. Panicking won't make it go away. And it won't go away by thinking about it all the time.
Find something to distract you. Something that makes you feel good. That makes you feel good. Every problem has a solution. And you have my word that if you put yourself in a good mood first, you'll be much calmer and the solution will come much easier.
Home safety
It may also be because we have no "refuge", i.e. a group of people or a place where we feel safe and calm.Our prehistoric ancestors probably had their caves. Outside the cave they were in danger and so "home" was something that was necessary for survival. We still have that need today. So if we don't have a proper home, we feel a deficit that we tend to eat.
Of course, by "we don't have a proper home" I don't mean that we live on the streets. However, we need to have a place where we feel completely relaxed, where there is no stress or danger and where we can rely on the other members of the household.
At best, though, we carry this home with us everywhere like snails. Just not on our backs, but inside us. You should be your own secure base. Anything can happen, but you'll always have yourself. A stable refuge. Emotions come and go. Life changes. But you are always with yourself.
Having a safe physical home is certainly important. And indeed it creates that "emotional deficit" that we fill with food. But it's not really necessary if we know ourselves. What is necessary is to FEEL safe and secure.
But I have to admit that for most people it means a very different approach to life than they have had up to now. And therefore a kind of "advanced level". So you can start with something easier.
Create your home!
I don't mean for you to build a house. "Home" can be anything, actually. A place, a person, a time
Maybe there's a corner of your home that's just beckoning for a makeover. Candles, flowers, cushions, a blanket.... Whatever you like and feels cozy to you. Create a sanctuary where you can hide from the busy world at least once a day. And maybe read a book. It will be a place where nothing negative awaits you at all.
You can also set aside a specific time in the day to turn off all electronics and focus on yourself. No stress, no bad news. Safety.
As I wrote, a home can be a person. But it's highly impractical. Don't do it.
Of course, what I have described is not the final, complete solution. It won't make you stop overeating from one day to the next. However, it may be the closest logical step for you at the moment.
You can't go from the start to the end of the route in one jump. You have to take it one step at a time. And with each step, you get closer to the finish line. Making a home out of a corner of your room or a specific time can be one of them.
Lack of unconditional love
What is unconditional love? It really is love without conditions. "I'll love you if you behave and do the dishes after dinner." That's an example of conditional love. Unconditional love has no boundaries.
No one has probably ever said that sentence to you. Because no one would say it like that, it would be insulting. Besides, most of us don't show conditional love on purpose. But we do. We just don't know it.
We try to get others to do what we want. Maybe because we think it's normal. Maybe because we're looking out for their best interests. (Again, I've stumbled upon a topic here that deserves its own article. Maybe even its own book. So we'll leave it alone for now.) Many of us, however, do show and feel conditional love.
From whom should we receive this love?
You're probably thinking, "Right, parents, spouse..." and you're actually right. Especially in childhood, this love from parents is crucial. But the most important person is you. Unconditional love should come from within. You are the only one who spends your whole life with yourself. If you don't love yourself, who will?
We shouldn't need an outsider to feel complete. These feelings come from within you. If you need someone to save you all the time and you are waiting to be saved (e.g. for someone to cheer you up), something is wrong.
Lack of structure in life
Structure means that we know approximately what will happen when and how long it will take. It also means that we see meaning in the things we do. Also, you don't buy a house unless you know if you can live there for two days or thirty years. Because you don't see the point.
If we lack meaning and structure, it is again a deficit. There is frustration. Such a situation can arise, for example, if you have a job you don't like. And you don't see the meaning in the activities you do.
I consider the lack of structure and meaning to be a serious problem in general. Do you live your life for yourself? Or for whom? Do you want to live it all like this? Doing activities that you don't see the point in? By repeating routine days? If nothing in your life fulfills you, no wonder you fill yourself with food. Pick yourself up and change that. You know what you want to do. Then take courage.
Emotional hole
Everything I have described (and unfortunately other things) creates, as we have said, a deficit. A deficit that our emotional cushion is supposed to protect us from. A deficit that our "spare battery" of stored fat is supposed to help us with.
These things create an imaginary emotional hole that we try to fill with food. But it's like trying to plug a bottle of wine with a toothpick, for example. It's just not what we need at the time. The food falls in, but it doesn't fill the hole.
Hormones
Of course, our hormones play a role in all of this. Stimulus such as a caress, praise and even a smile release the hormones of happiness (serotonin-for example, in praise, appreciation and oxytocin-mostly in physical contact). For example, flow and ticking tasks off a list in turn flushes dopamine out of our bodies. Dopamine is also flushed out whenever we expect a reward. When we get something done.
Note: Dopamine can also be very addictive, and this addiction also affects emotional eating to some extent. More on that another time.
These hormones are also known as happiness hormones. They induce pleasant feelings in us. But some foods also trigger similar feelings. So we want to artificially induce them. But instead, we go around in circles.
Negative emotions -> desire for improvement -> junk food -> negative emotions
How about we look for a real solution to the problem?
What about it?
Unfortunately, there is no instant solution to this predicament. No magic potion. You have to be able to detach yourself from your mind. Not to give in to external conditions. It shouldn't matter what mood you're in, where you are or who you're with.
You decide what you think about and what you focus on. And it's only from thoughts that emotions arise. Unfortunately, the instructions on how to change your mindset don't fit in one article. You need to understand a number of different things and gradually assimilate them.
I have described this whole topic in my e-book. In it you will find an explanation of how the mind works and how to get rid of dysfunctional thought patterns. You will also find specific tasks to move towards your goal. The book focuses on how to get rid of emotional eating. However, I'm sure it will impart much more.
In order to get rid of that imaginary "hole" you carry inside you, and with it the overeating, you simply need to "cast an eye" on your life. And that's exactly what this book will help you with. I'm not just trying to sell, I really want to help you and I believe the book will convey an awful lot. If you still don't like it for some reason, you will get your money back in full.
